I teach several students via the internet, and one student in particular had created a love spell and sent it for my review.  Here is my response to the spell, which I also think is good advice for love spells in general:

“This is a tricky question.  You said you’ve been working on it for a while…..AT ANY TIME….did you have someone in mind?  You have some pretty specific features down there….were you thinking of someone?  I don’t mind so much that you want the “compassionate” part, and I don’t think that is a bad thing to ask for…I think that is ok.  But a person with a certain look?  My question to you, dear, is what if the person the Gods have put on this earth for you in this life DOESN’T have the physical features you’re asking for?  What if this person is PERFECT FOR YOU, only, they don’t physically look the way you ideally want them to look?  You will miss out on an EPIC LOVE!  Let me tell you a little story.  When I met my second husband, I wasn’t very attracted to him physically.  In fact, I thought he looked a little “neadarthal.”  But at the time, I wasn’t looking for a relationship…..just a one night stand.  We ended up going to a hotel room.  Well, a few days later, he shows up at my place of work with a vase of flowers…I SOOOOO didn’t want his attention, however, he was a nice enough guy, so I continued talking to him, thinking I could let him down easy.  Well, time passed….and the more time passed, the more handsome he became.  We started dating.  Well, I lost that job, and it was around Christmas time, and I had a 10 year old son to buy presents for, and he said, “Come work for me,”  So I did.  And the more time I spent with him, the more I liked him.  At that time, he wasn’t drinking 24 hours a day and he was actually a really nice guy.  And he paid me honestly for the hours I put in.  On New Year’s Eve of that same year, I found out I was pregnant with his child.  By this time, I was in love with him, but he always looked a little funny to me.  Long story short, he gave me my beloved 9 year old son,  who is my soul child.  And by the end of his life, despite the fact that he was abusive, he was the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on, in my opinion.   I learned to appreciate his gorgeous green eyes, his strong jaw, his wide, thoughtful forehead.  And he gifted me with a child that I love more than my own life.  Conversely, 14 months after his death, I met a man who was SO PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE….everything I had ever wanted a man to look like….just DROP DEAD GORGEOUS….but he treated me like trash.  He lied, he conned me out of a LOT of money with his pretty lies, he never listened to me, he blew me off….even though we were engaged.  He made promises, but didn’t keep his word.  And suddenly, the MOST GORGEOUS MAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH TO ME, became very, VERY UGLY.

And I gave him up to the Gods at Samhain as my greatest sacrifice…..because I had a lot of hopes and dreams invested in that man and all his romantic words.  But it was all an ugly lie.  Do you see what I’m trying to say here?  I think it’s ok to ask the Gods for certain qualities in a mate….like compassion, sympathy, empathy, generosity, fidelity, etc, etc….but I don’t think it’s ok to dictate what he/she should look like…..because the perfect person is out there for you…you just haven’t met them yet.  And it would be very sad indeed to think you will not give them a second look because they don’t have certain traits.  I did a spell last Yule for love and it basically said, “If I am ready, and if it harms none, then please bring someone into my life.”  Happy ending to the story, though….I dumped the gorgeous man and eventually met another, and it turns out, he was my husband in a past life….I just found that out last night.  He had information that only that man would have known about my character.  He has also been though an abusive relationship, and knows all the complexities behind it….the second guessing, the flinching, the waiting for the sky to fall.  And I am not the most fairest of the swans….I have struggled with my weight all my life.  But he loves me for who I am.  Where I once starved myself and punished myself for eating, I am now comfortable taking a meal or two during the day.  And when I look in the mirror, I’m not so hard on myself….because if someone like this man loves me and has loved me through the ages, then I can’t be that bad.  Just some food for thought.  Try to be as vague as possible when making your request to your Gods about love, because love comes in many different colors, shapes and sizes…and even sexes.  If you trust your Gods, then trust them with your heart.  I have never regretted trusting them with mine.

So, I would say, revise your spell a little.  Make it more vague.  Give the Gods something to work with.  Or, do what I did and simply say, “If I am ready, and it harms none, please bring someone into my life.”  Trust your Gods, my dear.  They love you and want you to be happy.  But they know things about you that you don’t know about yourself.  And when you trust them, keep your eyes open, because you’ll never know when love will show up or in what form.  It make happen instantly, like a shockwave, or it may develop over time.  I know we all want to be loved.  Believe me, I know about “the cold spot in the bed” and needing arms to hold you at night.  But not if they’re the wrong arms.  Not if they’re abusive arms.  Just trust your Gods, Dear.  And it will all come together.  Take parts of that spell and revise it….I have a feeling it’s a really good spell, and I would like to see the finished product.  You have put so much heart and soul into it….don’t you deserve someone who ADORES you?  Just promise me you’ll think about it.

Love and Light,

Aesobol.

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